wReck thiS meSS ~ Radio Patapoe 88.3
Amsterdam ~ Ethno-Illogical Psycho-Radiographies
22 December 2008 // 17.00-19.00
Roses are reddish / Violets are bluish / If it weren’t for Christmas / We’d all be Jewish.
• Benny Hill
• Benny Hill
It’s a time when the greedy give a dime to the needy / Blue Christmas, all the paper, tinsel and the fal-de-ral / Blue Xmas, people trading gifts that matter not at all / What I call / Fal-de-ral
• Miles Davis & Bob Dorough
Jesus Was A Nice Guy > News report 
Jesus Blood Never Failed Me > Gavin Bryars 
Jesus, Puerto Rican Boxing Champion > Elodie Lauten 
Cold-Blooded Christmas > Jon Lajoie 
900 Foot Jesus > Tragic Mulatto 
Jesus > Velvet Underground
Fairytale Of New York > The Pogues 
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer > Jingle Animals 
“Happy Xmas” (War Is Over) > John Lennon & Yoko Ono 
What Will Santa Claus Say > Louis Prima 
Swingin’ Them Jingle Bells > Fats Wallers 
Yodelin for Jesus > Betty Orshaw 
Cool Yule > Louis Armstrong 
Jesus Gave Me A Yodel > Buzz Goertzen 
Jesus Came (Age 4) > Marjoe Gortner 
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer Mambo > Billy May 
My Name is Jesus > Thee Mysterious Asthmatic Avenger 
Feliz Navi-Nada > El Ves 
Frosty the Snowman > Rev. Frost 
Touch Me Lord Jesus > Angelic Gospel Singers
Jesus At McDonalds > Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper
RANGE IN THE SKY (Jesus Yodel) > Disco Saints 
Early on One Christmas Morn > Cotton-top Sanctified Singers 
Brazilian Sleigh Bells > Harry James 
I Want Elvis For Christmas > Holly Twins w/Eddie Cochran 
Santa Claus Got Stuck in My chimney > Ella Fitzgerald 
Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto > James Brown 
Boogie Woogie Santa Claus > Lionel Hampton
Joy to the World > Chet Baker 
Coldcut’s Christmas Break > Coldcut 
Jingle Bells > Earl Scruggs 
Jingle Bells > Frank Sinatra 
Jingle Bells Yodel > Lovers Show 
White Christmas > Dick Haymes 
White Christmas > Melt Banana 
Jingle Bells > Tenchi Muyo 
Getting Down for Xmas > Milly & Silly 
So They Giveth Unto Him some Fish > God Is For Real, Man 
Randolph, the Rouge-nosed Reindeer > Justin Wilson 
24 December > PIzzicato Five 
Yingle Bells > Yogi Yergesson 
Merry Christmas Baby > Ramones 
Christmas in Hollis > Run DMC 
Blue Xmas > Miles Davis & Bob Dorough 
I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas > Yogi Yergesson 
 Some guy spent 25 years researching and writing a book to prove that Jesus was a nice guy.
 My intro into the enchanting sounds of Gavin Bryars. Amazingly haunting piece of looped sampling.
 I was always attracted to the title but its an amazing song that moves along like a punch-drunk boxer.
 He’s a gifted writer of parody novelty songs with a sharp eye for the BS in other genres. His “I’m just an Average Guy I and II” were my fave singles of 2008.
 Indie punkish band picks up on this great title of what I believe is a vision Oral Roberts had of the guy. There is also a giant piece of roadside architecture. Somewhere in the middle of America, a giant Jesus that can never be too big to express the big-hearted love some Christians feel for the guy. Not to be confused with MC 900-Foot Jesus, Mark Griffin, classical musician who was one of the first to successfully combine rap and punk and rock.
 Voted 2nd best Xmas song – I think Bing’s “White Xmas” came in at #1 – on BBC’s Top of the Pops.
 dogs & cats are singers too.
 Somehow this one holds up despite the antiquated sense of hope and the conviction that peace is at hand.
 Swingin’ Christmas, TIM, 2001. A great discount collection.
 There is a whole tribe of yodelers yodelin for Jesus and I am determined to find out why they believe Jesus wants them to yodel his message.
 amazing character, childhood brimstone preacher who later in a great documentary revealed all the tent show tricks of the trade
 He’s mysterious, he’s lo-fi, he’s French, he’s a yodeler, he’s pure trashabilly, he’s asthmatic see: http://bartyodel2.wordpress.com/
http://asthmatic.avenger.free.fr/Or And an upcoming issue of the Brooklyn Rail for a full profile of the MAA.
 Have been receiving x-mas CD collections from Jose Padua for about 6 years. He has a great knack for stacking taste and obscurity next to wacked novelty.
 Crooners at Christmas, Musicbank, 2000.
 check out this video. It is available on Youtube. It is a cool, calm, calculated [on sedatives] rendition but is somehow highly erotic as the female of the duo jingles those bells and the male handles some very controlled yodeling.
 Wacked waxers of hipoid street Jesus. Jesus deals the right dope.
 Part of that drunken-comical complaining genius genre of Xmas songs. Check out Jim Leary’s excellent book Polkabilly for more on the underrated and mostly ignored music scene of German-Polish-Scandinavian immigrants in Wisconsin.
 Ramones power Xmas into party time except they are almost all dead. Long live the dead.
 Still one of the greatest of all time rapp grupze.
 The very best of [anti-consumption] Xmas complaining.
I hope you have a white one, but for me it’s blue
Blue Christmas, that’s the way you see it when you’re feeling blue
Blue Xmas, when you’re blue at Christmastime
you see right through,
All the waste, all the sham, all the haste
and plain old bad taste
Sidewalk Santy Clauses are much, much, much too thin
They’re wearing fancy rented costumes, false beards and big fat phony grins
And nearly everybody’s standing round holding out their empty hand or tin cup
Gimme gimme gimme gimme, gimme gimme gimme
Fill my stocking up
All the way up
It’s a time when the greedy give a dime to the needy
Blue Christmas, all the paper, tinsel and the fal-de-ral
Blue Xmas, people trading gifts that matter not at all
What I call
Lots of hungry, homeless children in your own backyards
While you’re very, very busy addressing
Twenty zillion Christmas cards
Now, Yuletide is the season to receive and oh, to give and ahh, to share
But all you December do-gooders rush around and rant and rave and loudly blare
I hope yours is a bright one, but for me it bleeds
Growing up and beyond: Xmas was often a disaster. It was either not getting anything I REALLY wanted – OK I DID need socks but NOT an electric pizzamaker – or people did not appreciate the effort I put into the gifts I made, bought, wrapped special or whatever. It was hormones, a deep-seated dissatisfaction with rampant consumption, the fake sentimentality, Hallmark Cards, the “generosity” toward the invisible poor around Xmas as a show or bribe to one’s own conscience just in case god is keeping tabs. Everything seemed hypocritical, over the top, hysterical and in desperate search for ritual, for meaning in all the wrong places. This all changes when you have a kid. Paloma is now 9 and no longer believes in Santa, but she does still [want to] believe in Sinterklaas, the Dutch version, who is a lot less slick and has better acting skills, is more realistic, actually DOES arrive by boat and seems VERY real to kids. The religious debate this past Sinterklaas 5 Dec. Was whether he really exists. Paloma was a massive believer in everything and every god [including Ganesh & Buddah and many others] because many of them included such interesting fables and stories and wild costumes etc. But now she is more agnostic and is not going to FALL for the major religious stories… He believes in Sinterklaas BUT believes there are also a lot of imitators out there. In any case, many kids continue to believe because it increases their gift intake. Paloma is lucky because she gets presents twice: Sinter & Xmas. Although Dutch people celebrate Xmas, they seldom give gifts during that holiday.