WTM #1085: Phone Phreaking

wReck thiS meSS ~ Radio Patapoe 88.3
Amsterdam ~ Ethno-Illogical Psycho-Radiographies


15 February 2010 // 16.30-18.30

“I hear you telephone thing listening in / I hear you telephone thing listening in / How dare you assume I want to parlez-vous with you?  / Sorry to be so short with you / But I’m tapped / But I’m tapped”
• Mark E. Smith “Telephone Thing”

Phreaking the Evangelistas > National Hardwood Floor Association [Savage Vigilance for a Rug-Free America / Electro Motive]
BadOrb (promo) > The Orb
+ Auto Mechanic / Punitive Damages / Fava Beans > Jerky Boys [All Time Greatest Hits / Select]
Ziplock Tub > Marcelo Radulovich [Hello / Accretions]
BadOrb (promo) > The Orb
Earthworm > Marcelo Radulovich [Hello / Accretions]
BadOrb (promo) > The Orb
Amp > Marcelo Radulovich [Hello / Accretions]
Electronic Squeegy Extended 90 > > B/art
Extract Hello Out of O > Marcelo Radulovich [Hello / Accretions]
Call Myself > Paul Sturm
Phone Damage > Hans Fjellestad
Equus 2 > Oliver Capparos & Lionel Marchetti [Equus Grand Vehicule / Pogus]
Ringing Score > Wax Tailor [Tales Of The Forgotten Melodies / Decon Inc]
Überhaupt Spoken > Mark Boswell vs B/art
Cool Noises > L-R & RadioMentale [I Could Never Make That Music Again / Sub Rosa]
Telephone Baby [sampled throughout] > Johnny Otis [40 Million Sellers / Capitol vinyl]
Equus 2 > Oliver Capparos & Lionel Marchetti [Equus Grand Vehicule / Pogus]
Elvis Phone Sex > Frank “Vanilla Bean” Balesteri
Telephone Thing > Fall [The Less You Look The More You Find / Snapper]
The Conversation / Brief Interlude: The Telephone Call > Daniel Stephen Crafts [Soap Opera Symphony / Lutra]
Hello, My Name Is > Filastine [Burn It / Jarring Effects-Soot]
Birthday > Fall [The Less You Look The More You Find / Snapper]
Maledetto [The Screw] > Kenneth Gaburo / Alan Johnson [Maledetto: Antiphony III / Pogus]
+ Robin Hood: Men In Tights… > Badger Theatre Movie Phone
Spheric Wave > Sven Weiseman
+ Roofing > Jerky Boys [All time Greatest Hits / Select]
James Joyce/Erik Satie: Eolian Episode/Gnossiene > DJ Spooky [Sub Rosa]
Circonstances 1, 2 > Lena [Circonstances / Variations / Sounds Around]
+ The Telephone Door That Leads to Some Love Poem > Richard Brautigan
+ Hearing Aid Danger > Radio Blab
+ Phonecall > Prankster Anoniem
+ Interlude 1 – Turn Left > L-R & RadioMentale
Body building in the Great Northwest > Vito Acconci [Writing Aloud / Errant Bodies]
Telephone Baby > Johnny Otis [40 Million Sellers / Capitol vinyl]

I don’t use my mobile/cell phone for much. I use it as a watch and once in a great while I receive a call. I have no ringtone and have decided to go with one of the generic rings, which sounds just like an old phone in a noir film about paranoia and betrayal.

Our relationship to phones has changed irreversibly. Like so many things in life, marketers have succeeded in making us pay for everything including drinking water. We get fat from bad fast food eating habits and then pay even more to take that weight off.

Saw this monologue by comedian Bill Hicks on Marketing, from his 1990’s standup routine Revelations. Died at 32 in 2004 of pancreatic cancer.

“By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing… kill yourself.  No, no, no it’s just a little thought. I’m just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they’ll take root – I don’t know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself.

Seriously though, if you are, do.  Aaah, no really, there’s no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan’s little helpers. Okay – kill yourself – seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you’re going, “there’s going to be a joke coming,” there’s no fucking joke coming. You are Satan’s spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It’s the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself.

Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, “he’s doing a joke…” there’s no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend – I don’t care how you do it.”

Our relationship with the phone has changed aesthetically, emotionally and logistically: The phone has become an accessory, part of the expression of who we are, left to others to represent us so that we are more of who we would like to project ourselves to be who we really aren’t. That is marketing on a personal level. Its not love letters its an SMS or worse yet a CV. The phone has become some weird prosthetic device

The point being that in lieu of any more territory left to conquer except a big chunk of ice around the South Pole – the marketers, the colonists of the 21st century, have set out to colonize as much of our bodies and souls as they can. And somehow their innate feelings of superiority expressed as contempt and cynicism disguised as therapy, self-esteem, status, that BE-ALL-YOU-CAN-BE self-worth crap is reinforced by the fact that people fall for it. People give their bank acct numbers to e-mail letter swindlers in Africa, to banks offering to take your money and make you pay for the privilege, to making you anxious about every decision you make regarding your body and health and then in the same issue of the wo/man magazine offering you solutions to the very problems they exacerbate.

Most of that colonization has shifted from phones to Internet but the word phoney comes from the fact that people used to be able to hide their true feelings on the phone because you couldn’t see their facial expressions that might entrap the liar. The phone call always sounds interesting on record as recording, as if you are being sucked up into one’s psyche, as if there is a funnel that is pouring you into intimacy.

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